I find myself time and again negating my own hard work and diligence. I can complete a 60 day workout program and feel fabulous about myself. Then I indulge myself, saying I deserve to sleep in a couple mornings knowing full well I won't work out in the evenings. A day or two turns into a week or two and before I know it, I've gotten myself out of a very good habit and into a very bad one.
What's worse is that most times I don't realize I've gone down that bad path until I'm trapped. It's akin to not cleaning your house, doing dishes or laundry for a few days or a week. It becomes a horrendously daunting to try to 'fix' all that you see wrong. It's nearly overwhelming, especially if you don't have support.
I'm pulling myself out of a rut. I've been a slug for 2 weeks now and I can feel the affects. I finished the 60 day Hammer and Chisel program, patted myself on the back and then proceeded to sleep in mornings when I should have gotten my butt out of bed early. I ate things that I really didn't need to and what's sad is that they really didn't taste that good to me. They used to, but I just kept shoveling it in.
I've been in a great challenge group and I saw that others were having similar struggles staying on track and they post up saying they're back and ready to kick some butt. My normal response is "Great!" and "Good for you!". I don't know why it's so hard for me to admit that I need to tell myself those same things I tell my friends. I find it hard to be supportive to myself.
I'm reading a book called "Intentional Living" by John C Maxwell and tonight I read a section about self-doubt and believing in yourself first before you can discover your why and help others. That really struck a chord with me. I'm the hardest critic on myself, I always have been. I need to try to use the positive attitude I have with others on myself. It's ok to fall down. Pick yourself up and get back after it. Believe in yourself and your big dreams.
After posting in our challenge group today that I'm getting back on track, I got likes and comments from my friends. It felt so good to have their support. Two of us even made the big scary goal of running a 10K this summer. (Anyone else want to join us?) I've decided this will be my first step to recovery - a big scary goal with a friend to push me and be supportive. I believe I can!
